
The old saying, “you only get one chance to make a first impression” still applies today so it needs to be a positive one. When arriving for a face to face job interview it’s critical to have your appearance completely squared away. Do not plan on putting on a tie or touching up your make up in the building’s rest room.
Some job applicants, at their own peril, fail to recognize that many HR and hiring managers ask the receptionist or their assistant what their impression was of that person. These “gate keepers” can have a significant say in how you are judged based on how you presented yourself. These folks are often asked, “How did they look? Neat? Did they seem confident or nervous? Were they polite and professional? Amiable? In the worst case (this should be obvious) you never want to come across as rude, condescending, dismissive or impolite.
And when leaving, the same rules apply. I once referred a candidate to a former colleague for a sales position. The candidate, let’s call him Rick, did a great job on his final interview and impressed the HR manager, the hiring manager, and her boss the President of the company. Then the receptionist told the HR manager that Rick in the reception area, after calling for a taxi, could be heard on his cell phone talking loudly with a friend and dropping a few F bombs! It made the receptionist quite uncomfortable and was of course highly unprofessional. Needless to say they didn’t make Rick the offer and promptly told me how he behaved. I, in turn, didn’t want to risk referring him to any other companies ☹
Your demeanor before, during, and after the interview is critical to getting called back and ultimately getting an offer. It may seem unfair, but “likability” places a role in the selection of new additions to the team and organization.
What Makes You “Likeable”?
The “likability” factor is an important qualitative attribute. Here are some of the ways likable people behave that endears them to others. Everyone can agree that we are more likely to do business and build professional and personal relationships with people we like. We are naturally drawn to people who are polite, modest, agreeable, and kind - in short, people who are genuinely likable. Want to be easy to like? Try these behaviors:
Show Vulnerability
Don’t try to one-up another person and engage in the “who is more successful?” game.
Likable people don't try to win any unstated competitions with people they meet. They're complimentary. They're impressed. They're even willing to admit a weakness or a failure. Likable people are confident enough to not worry about showing a little vulnerability. They know that while some people may be impressed by the artificial, everyone instinctively appreciates the genuine.
Laugh at Yourself
Likable people willingly admit their mistakes. They don't mind being a source of laughter, for others and for themselves. And they're also not afraid to look a little silly. They don't mind being in situations where they aren't at their best. Oddly enough, people tend to respect them more for that - not less. When you genuinely own your mistakes, people won't laugh at you. They'll laugh with you. And they realize it's OK to let down their own guard and meet you at a genuine level.
Master the Art of Social Jujitsu
Some people have a knack for getting you to talk openly. They ask open-ended questions. They sincerely want to know what you think, and that makes you open up to a surprising degree. They make you feel like the most interesting person in the world. And you like them for making you feel that way.
As soon as you learn something about someone, ask why he or she does it. Or how. Or what the person likes about it or has learned from it. Likable people ask sincere questions that make it easy to answer in a thoughtful, introspective way. They make you think, in a good way, about yourself and in the process make you feel likable, too.
Pass the Server Test
Some people put on a great show in certain situations, but they don't try nearly as hard when they think a person is "beneath" them. Some call it the server test. If you really want to know how an individual treats people, take them to lunch. How they interact with the server is a much better indication of their interpersonal skills than how they interact with you. Likable people treat everyone the same way, as deserving of respect and kindness.
Be Genuinely Glad to Meet Them
Upon meeting someone for the first time show sincere interest in them. If they feel you "get" them, and respect their opinion and point of view, then they will naturally feel validated and like you. You don’t have to agree with them; you just have to show you respect them.
Be Great with Names
If there's one thing almost as bad as that sinking feeling when you forget someone's name, it's realizing that another person has forgotten your name. Likable people remember names and even small details, often to a surprising degree. The fact you remember instantly makes them feel a little prouder and a little better about themselves. There are many tricks to remembering names, like word association, but the best approach is to be sincerely interested in the person you are talking with – that will anchor their face and name in your memory. If you do forget someone’s name, put out your hand and say “Hello, I’m Juan”. They will almost always say their name as they shake your hand.
Never Name-Drop
Even though likable people remember names, they avoid dropping names. In fact, while playing golf with Tiger Woods last week I mentioned that this is one of my biggest pet peeves. LOL. See how I “innocently” wove Tiger’s name into the conversation? Nice try but it’s quite transparent and people resent it – even if it’s true (which it wasn’t for me!). Likable people may know famous or cool people, but they don't talk about it. And that only adds to their likability.
Always Say Less
As in many things, less is more. Likable people already know what they know. They want to know what you know. So when engaging with others talk less than they do. That makes them feel more important and they will likely talk more.
Frank Manfre
Job Search Sherpa & Career Coach
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