Let Them
- Frank Manfre
- Aug 13
- 2 min read
The “Let Them Theory” is a mindset shift popularized by New York Times bestselling author and motivational speaker Mel Robbins https://www.melrobbins.com/. It is a mindset tool that encourages focusing on what you can control (yourself) and releasing control over what others do, leading to greater emotional peace and improved relationships.
For example:
• If someone doesn’t invite you to an event, let them.
• If someone doesn’t support your dreams, let them.
• If someone judges you unfairly, let them.
The theory encourages emotional detachment from things beyond your control, reducing stress and helping you focus on people and situations that align with your values. It’s about accepting reality instead of resisting it, which ultimately leads to greater peace and self-confidence.
“Robbins is supremely talented at breaking down the steps you need to take to make change and at giving people hope that change is possible.” The Boston Globe
Core Concept
The theory emphasizes that you cannot control other people's thoughts, actions, or beliefs, and that trying to do so is a waste of energy and emotional resources.
"Let Them" as a Mindset Shift
When you find yourself getting upset, frustrated, or stressed by someone else's behavior, the theory suggests saying to yourself "Let Them" to release control and focus on your own reactions and actions.
Benefits
By letting go of the need to control others, you can:
Gain more control over your own emotions and reactions. Instead of getting caught up in others' actions, you can focus on your own well-being.
Improve relationships - By not trying to control others, you can create a more relaxed and authentic environment for relationships.
Reduce stress and anxiety. Letting go of control can lead to a sense of peace and calm.
Application
The "Let Them Theory" can be applied in various areas of life, including:
Work - Stop trying to micromanage your team and focus on your own performance.
Relationships - Allow others to be who they are and focus on building healthy boundaries.
Personal Goals - Don't get discouraged by others' lack of support and focus on your own journey.
"The Let Them Theory" Book
Robbins has written a book titled "The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About" which further explores this concept.
Frank Manfre
Job Search Sherpa
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